


System Error

by stuckwithasnakeboy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, school traumatizes students, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckwithasnakeboy/pseuds/stuckwithasnakeboy
Summary: If he wasn’t their perfect machine, what was he?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	System Error

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: self depricating thoughts, depression, self harm, suicide

He stared at it, his first ever F. He had failed. He had never failed before. He crumpled up the paper and threw it away. He couldn't let anyone see that he had failed.

Weeks later he kept failing. Weeks turned to months and it had been so long since he had seen an A. He kept failing.

Soon his brain stopped letting him work. He tried to but he got over whelmed. He kept getting behind. His mother kept telling him that he should be doing this because he was such a "smart young man" but that's all he had ever been. He had only ever been smart. He was never told that he was kind, funny, or cool. He was just the smart one that everything came easy to.

What was he when he wasn't smart then? A failure. He was a failure, a complete and utter failure. His systems were done, they didn't work anymore. The perfect machine was breaking. He didn't work anymore there was a system failure and no one was willing to help him fix it.

If they did try they made it worse. They always said it like it was so easy, with the hidden message in their tone that they thought he was an idiot. They were right, he was one.

He was a failure. He couldn't work but when he forced himself to he kept getting Fs instead of As. He was failing and drowning and no one was willing to help him get the water out of his gears. He was failing. He was a failure.

He had already blocked out his emotions so why was it every time he started to work he felt something roll down his cheek? He wasn't supposed to feel, he had blocked that out a long time ago. Why did he feel hopeless? Why did he feel this terrible pit in his stomach?

He was a failure.

He had failed.

Nothing was working anymore! Everything was breaking! No one was coming to help him fix it! No one was going to help and explain! No one cared anymore! 

They saw the scars and they yelled. They screamed. They were disappointed in him. He couldn't find another way. No one listened unless he went to far. Now they didn't even care about the scars. They just needed him to work, get an A, but he had a failure in his system! It wasn't working anymore.

They didn't listen until he went too far.

He looked down at the freezing waters.

They never listened. No one helped him. No one cared. He was just their perfect little machine but he had a system error. No one was helping him though. They just cared that he worked. They didn't care that he was broken.

He looked down at the freezing waters.

It looked so inviting. He had read about what it was like to freeze and to drown. They both seemed like peaceful ways to go. The cold and the water would just force you to sleep.

He had a system error. No one would care. His functions were down, they didn't work anymore and no one cared if they didn't. They only cared if he was working and he wasn't. They wouldn't care if he was gone.

He took a step forward and into the waters he went. No one cared. He had a system error.


End file.
